Spotted Causing Trouble

We have some new evidence that Toga has been quite busy recently. He's recently been on a little escapade down south and the results are very telling.

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Merry Christmas

Master Strategist

When we first started observing Toga, we assumed that we were dealing with an ordinary delinquent penguin. Sitting underneath his red fishnet day in and day out, Toga seemed plain. With the exception of his belly tattoo, he could fade into a crowd of penguins without ever being noticed. Even with the tattoo, it was common enough to pass for normal. It wasn't until recent events that we began to realize our own naiveté.

Toga is exceptional in a lot of ways. We’ve been observing, kidnapping, reeducating, and deep frying penguins for the last fifteen years or so. We’ve had government sponsors, corporations, and private individuals seek out our talents before we decided to freelance for the good of society. Never have we been so thwarted in our attempts to keep a tail on a penguin.

When Toga escaped from that three city raid, we initially thought he was simply embezzling $150 grand. In light of new facts, it seems that it was a bit more. As it turns out, ALL of the individuals involved in the ring have died of bird flu. This in and of it self is phenomenal as it is only 60% fatal; with a quarantine of 30 suspects only 18 should have died, aside from the fact that most penguin fighting handlers tend to develop immunity. So there is no further need to prosecute as ALL suspects are deceased. North Carolina just happens to have a law on the books that allows arresting departments to "absorb" funds that were obtained by illegal means if there is no defendant to prosecute. $600 large. Toga effectively paid off an entire police force $600,000. This is more than a little disturbing. We have no idea of how the consequences of this pay-off will manifest itself, but it can't be good.

Then there was the whole UFO incident, which by itself would seem like a wild goose chase. But when you couple this with the chaos he has been causing in the greater penguin society, he’s a menace. Tracking down one penguin at a time is hard enough, but the prospect of a penguin uprising is chilling. Toga is masterfully playing to the fundamental fears of all penguins. The more he fuels the flames of distrust amongst his fellow penguins, the better he is able to execute his nefarious schemes unnoticed. If he is successful, it will be brother against brother as the entire world is inevitably sucked into their avian dispute.

Toga has a created a publicity machine that rivals that of any of the current political candidates. Thankfully, he does have flaws, and hopefully these flaws will bring us closer to his re-education. We’ve recently observed him flaunting his success. His little stunt in San Francisco not only taunted the natural order of Darwinian selection, it slapped coastal authorities in the face, as his fully stocked Panamax class Pleasure Boat is still “missing.”

We know he’s out there somewhere. Even our intel has recently had conflicting reports. We even have the suspicion that he may be subscribing to this blog, he may have even posted comments. So what it comes to now it’s our perseverance verses his games. We have never failed, (unless you consider an exquisite lemon glazed rosemary penguin broil with fresh lentils failure), and we don't envision allowing this little mastermind to best us now.

If you’re out there reading Toga, whether it's tomorrow, or five years from now, in the end we WILL have your penguin.

Toga's Alien Abduction

We have obtained the photos from Toga's alleged Alien Abduction. It looks like his propaganda machine has thrown the press another red herring to throw the authorities off of his trail. Little does he know, we will always be watching....

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Not really a victim...

We have continued our monitoring of our little penguin friend and have come across some disturbing observations. Today's supposed raid confounds us to a certain degree. From our records, Toga not only established the penguin-fighting ring, but was an active participant in the fights. He had the connections to bring in some big betters to the brawls. He also pretended to be in lock up in order to cement new ties within the penguin underworld. Not only were the fights rigged, but it looks like he truly enjoyed pummeling other penguins. It looks like he took his time to forge a bunch of documents in order to frame some of his enemies and friendly rivals. On top of it all, we saw him tip off his own operation to the cops from within his kennel. This caused enough disorder for him to finalize his ultimate scheme. Of the $600,000 the police found, we know that that total was about $150,000 short of all the buy in money. Toga's offshore accounts just happened to receive a deposit for that amount earlier this afternoon. It looks like he has his re-up money without alerting the authorities, we're just not sure where he's headed next.

Here is some further evidence of the penguins misdeeds:

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